Preparing for Your Sessions

What you actually need

Less than you'd think. There's no equipment in this program and nothing to print.

A quiet room where nobody will interrupt you. This matters more than it sounds like it does. Some of what we cover asks your athlete to be honest in front of you, and a sibling wandering through ends that. Close the door.

Somewhere comfortable to sit. Most of the work happens sitting down. A few sessions use a small patch of open floor — enough to stand on one foot. That's the extent of the space requirement.

A device you can back away from. A laptop or tablet propped on a table, positioned so I can see your athlete from head to foot — not a phone held at face level. I read a lot from posture and breathing, and I can't see either from a chin-up angle. Prop it, don't hold it.

Both of you in frame. One screen, both people. Not two devices in two rooms.

Because there's no equipment, this travels. Families run sessions from hotel rooms during tournament weekends all the time, and it works fine.

What to have with you

A blank journal for your athlete. Any notebook — spiral, composition, whatever they'll actually pick up. Let them choose it, and let them choose one they like. That sounds minor and it isn't; a journal somebody else picked out is a journal nobody writes in.

A pen for each of you. You'll be writing too.

Water.

Something small on a string. A washer, a ring, a key on a shoelace — about eight inches of string. You'll need it in the first session, and I'll explain it then.

Your part

You're in every session. Not watching — working.

Each one splits three ways: time with your athlete, time with you, and time with both of you together. You get your own material and your own assignment every week.

This is the part most parents don't expect, so it's worth being plain: a cue your athlete has and you don't gets undone before you're out of the parking lot. This only holds if you're in it. If you were planning to drop off and come back, this is the moment to know otherwise.

In a couple of sessions I'll ask you to help run an exercise — timing something, or applying a bit of pressure on purpose. I'll always explain why first. Some of it is uncomfortable by design, and that's the part that teaches the most.

A few things that will help:

Let your athlete answer first. You'll know the answer. Let them get there anyway, including slowly, including wrong. The pause is where the learning is.

Don't coach during their block. You'll want to. When your athlete is working with me, your job is to be a stable, unbothered presence — not passive, and genuinely the harder job.

Your own answers should be honest. Your athlete is watching how you do this. A parent who gives careful, managed answers teaches their kid to give careful, managed answers, and then we're all working with nothing.

Between sessions

There's an assignment every week, for both of you. They're small — usually two minutes a day. They're also where the change actually happens. The session teaches it; the week builds it.

Your athlete's journal is private. You don't read it. You don't ask what's in it.

You may ask "did you write?" You may not ask "what did you write?" The first is support. The second ends the practice, usually for good. I don't read it either — anything your athlete wants to share, they say out loud, and that's their call every time.

Text or call me any time. Every thread includes you.

What the sessions feel like

Not a lecture, and not therapy.

There's teaching, there's conversation, and there are exercises where your athlete measures something about themselves and watches it change. That last part does most of the work — a number your athlete generated is more convincing to them than anything I could say.

Each session also has a few minutes of quiet, guided practice with eyes closed or softly focused. That's where a lot of this lands, because experiencing something works better than being told about it.

Your athlete may be quiet in session one. Most are. They usually decide somewhere in session two whether this is a thing being done to them or a thing that's theirs, and after that it changes.

Sessions run 75 to 90 minutes for one athlete, 100 to 120 for two. Session six runs at the top of the range.

Scheduling

Book one session at a time, not all six at once. Most families run every two to three weeks in season. The spacing matters more than the calendar — the week between is doing as much work as the session.

24 hours' notice to cancel or reschedule, or the session is used.

Book around the season, not around convenience. A session right after a hard weekend is worth two in a quiet week.

Before session one

• Quiet room, door closed
• Device propped, both of you in frame, full body visible
• Blank journal your athlete picked out
• A pen each
• Water
• Something small on a string
• Phones down — yours included

One last thing

Your athlete is going to be asked to say some true things in front of you. Some of it will be about pressure they haven't mentioned, and some of it may be about you.

If that happens, the most useful thing you can do is not defend, not explain, and not fix it. Just hear it.

I'll handle the rest.

— Melissa

Melissa Shakti Coaching, LLC · Melissa Ratliff-Sorrell, LCSW, NBCCH