Preparing for Your Sessions

FOR PARENTS

Set the room up once

Get this right before session one and you won't think about it again.

A room with a door that closes. Not the kitchen, not the living room with the TV on behind you. Your athlete will say things they wouldn't say in front of a sibling, and they'll know instantly whether the door is real.

Two spaces, not one. Part of every session is yours alone and part is your athlete's alone. Decide now where the other one goes during their block — a different floor, outside, headphones on in another room. A sibling waiting in the corner of the same room defeats the whole structure, and so does an athlete who can hear the parent block through the door.

Internet you've actually tested. Sit near the router, or plug in if you can. A session that freezes twice costs you fifteen minutes of a ninety-minute block.

Light in front of the face, not behind. A window behind your head turns you both into silhouettes. Face the window, or put a lamp in front of the screen.

Laptop or tablet, propped at eye level. A stack of books works. Phone in hand doesn't — the picture moves the whole session and it keeps their attention on the phone.

Headphones for both of you. Better audio, and it keeps the rest of the house out of it.

A notebook, and I'd make it a real journal. Let your athlete pick it out. Same one every session for all six — that's where the cues get written down in their own handwriting, which matters more than it sounds like it does. Ours is the only place they'll ever look back at what they wrote in week one.

Notifications off, phones in another room unless a phone is the camera.

Not from the car, and not from a tournament. Not the hotel lobby, not the parking lot between games, not the bleachers. That's exactly when it feels most useful and it's the worst setting for it — no privacy, no notebook, no room to say anything real. If a tournament week is impossible, reschedule.

Bathroom, water, and something to eat beforehand. A twelve-year-old at 6pm is hungry, and hungry looks exactly like shut down.

Log on five minutes early. Not to start early — so that a camera permission popup isn't eating the first four minutes.

FOR ATHLETES

Get your spot ready

A room with a door. Somewhere nobody's going to walk in. If you share a room, figure out with your parent where you'll be before the session starts, not two minutes before.

Laptop if you've got one. If it's a phone, prop it against something so it isn't moving the whole time.

Light on your face. If there's a window behind you, turn around. All anyone sees is a shadow.

Headphones.

Your notebook and something to write with. Bring it every single time. You're going to get cues you'll want later, and writing it yourself is part of why it sticks.

Bathroom and water before we start, so you're not getting up in the middle.

Not in the car and not at the field. I know that's when it feels like you need it most. It's still the worst place to do it.